Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just cropdusted the office
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
