i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Holy shit dude........stairs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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