I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
