I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
