JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
