Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
