8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
