we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
