so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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