I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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