im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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