i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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