we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
