Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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