I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's never too late to be topless.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
