Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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