I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
