"it" just moved
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
