I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
