...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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