Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
