we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
