**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
