talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everyone is single if you try hard enough
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
