He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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