I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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