all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
