We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
