I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
