He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
