What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
