This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
