how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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