happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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