The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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