and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
