shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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