remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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