I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize