I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
