he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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