this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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