The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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