So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
