If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize