then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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