I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
