Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
