Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
