she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
