I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
