ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize