i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He kissed a someone with a penis
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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