i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
