help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
