yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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