I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so let's talk penis.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Pooping to opera.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
