Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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