She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
