yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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