i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
