i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize