margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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