I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
