it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
