i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize