If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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