I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
