um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize