Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
