it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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