the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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