I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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