yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
