I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
