girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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