I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
