I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
