I hate all girls vehemently.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
