Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
