I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
