mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
