I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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