So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
