what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
