Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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