I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
