I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
