i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize