Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
