I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
